What is Marriage?

What is marriage?  What are the obligations of the husband to his wife and of the wife to her husband?  What does “to death do us part” suggest with regard to the fulfillment of spousal obligations?

When is a marriage finished?  Legally, conically, morally or emotionally?  In California, legally a marriage is concluded when a judge signs off on the divorce paperwork.  Also, in California, the date of legal separation is an important concept and reflects the date of conclusion of co-occupancy and further acts as a date for analysis of assets and liabilities.  Conically in the Catholic Church, a marriage is concluded via the process of annulment.  Once an annulment is granted, the Church no longer recognizes the marriage and both parties can marry again and have that new marriage recognized by the Church.

Morally, when is a marriage over?  I’d say when a spouse can no longer fulfill their obligations to the other spouse.  Maybe another way of describing the situation is that one spouse is taking advantage of the other spouse.

Emotionally, when is a marriage over?  Probably a long time after the marriage is morally over.  It takes time to process our feelings and sometimes we wander through time not even believing what our heart emotionally knows to be true.

All of these questions are relevant when I consider my parents long and happy marriage.  My Mom has passed away and my Dad still feels married to Mom.

When was my marriage to my FS over?  I believe it was over long before the legal work was complete and really concluded at an earlier time when my spouse failed to fulfill their obligations and failed as an emotional participant in the marriage.

Dad and Mom’s marriage continues well beyond Mom’s death.  My marriage concluded years before the legal technicalities concluded in divorce and clearly while both Kathryn and Jeanne were in grammar school.

Why did the marriage last long after the marriage was morally and emotionally concluded?  We’ll address that subject in another post.